"The word of the Lord came to me saying, 'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations...'

From Ashland to Africa... And Back Again

I have a confession to make...

I like riding in flatbed trucks. Really... I do! And I like washing my hair in the public water pump, and I love dancing. Let me paint you a picture of one of my favorite moments of the World Race. We were exploring the African bush in Mozambique. It had been a long day. Playing with the greatest kids in the world in the morning, hopping on the truck to head to a (more) remote village in the afternoon. We spend some time with the people there, drop off some much-needed food, share about God's love for them, and dance!

On the way home one night, I was sitting in the back of a flatbed with about 20 other people, a bicycle, and a few chickens. It was a beautiful night and the southern stars were shining down on us. I remember thinking... this is what it means to follow Jesus... I have talked about it and analyzed it for so long, but this is what it means to live it in real time! The words from a Snow Patrol (random) song wee ringing in my ears... This could be the very moment I'm aware I'm alive... All these places feel like home. I have never been happier - I was in love with Jesus and in love with Africa... I was dreaming of dancing and holding orphans...

The next day, I received an email from a friend in Ashland, Ohio, asking me to apply for an internship at my alma mater University (Ashland). The position would include coordinating the universities outreach projects and short-term mission trips. It would also include a full ride to grad school.

'You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you... Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,' declares the Lord. Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, 'Now I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant." Jeremiah 1:4-9

I remember walking out the gate, asking the Lord for a vision and closing my eyes. Immediately I saw myself teaching and imparting to a group of university students. "I heard myself saying things like, "And if you are sons, then you are heirs... Heirs of God! The nations are your inheritance! WHICH ONE DO YOU WANT?!?!" Everything that had been poured into me came to mind. Identity. Authority. Gifts. Warfare. Healing. Listening prayer. We had talked recently about how a prophet, at it's core, is someone who speaks and brings dead (or dying or tired or numb) things to life. Verses kept coming to mind...

"...You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you..."

"I tell you the truth, a time is coming and has now come when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God and those who hear will live." John 5:25

"Then he said to me, 'Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, 'This is what the Sovereign Lord says, Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe into these slain, that they may live.' So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them, they came to life and stood up on their feet - a vast army." Ezekiel 37:9-10

So I said what I always say to God (eventually). "Okay."

BUT, you know what they say: You can take the girl out of Africa...

I am having visions of Ashland and dreams of Africa. The children in Africa have run off with my heart. It is simple in my mind - every child needs a mother. And these are amazing kids. I couldn't imagine a higher calling... There is also a saying about Africa that the Christian faith there is miles wide and inches deep. The Spirit of God is moving powerfully and many are giving their lives to Jesus, but many are in need to discipleship for the seed to take root in good soil.

Here's the best part. I have no idea what the future holds! Isn't that great?!? I am truly incredibly excited to return to my family and friends, to encourage and be encouraged in our journeys with the Lord, and to speak and watch God breathe life. AND I believe I am dreaming of Africa for a reason. After getting the internship and scholarship for Ashland, I asked the Lord, Why are you asking me to postpone my call to the nations? He asked me one question. Is America a nation? You are not waiting to become a missionary... You are a missionary, starting now. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.

More than ever, I'm yours for the Journey.

Team Agapetos Wins the Race!

Though the race has been a relatively small component of this year, many of my favorite memories and stories are from race days.  And even though the competition has been riddled with controversy, rule definitions, and a general "tweaking" process, we are proud to announce that Team Agapetos is victorious!  With wins in Mexico, South Africa and Hong Kong, we came ahead of the other B Squad teams (who we dearly love) by a matter of minutes!  Here are some pictures of my Agapetos family - look how far we've come!

Mexico

Buenos Aires, Argentina

J-Bay, South Africa

Durban, South Africa

The Great Wall, Bejing, China

Finally!  It's what you've all been waiting for: another "You Know You're a World Racer When..." blog!   Long overdue... but here goes!

10.  You have survived at least 48 hours on a sleeper train (which is a novelty for only the first 4 hours).

9.  You notice that instead of Starbucks, there is a temple on every corner.

8.  You realize that someone has taught all street salespeople in Asia that Western-looking people are all named "Lady!" or "Friend!" (and that the tourist price is at least triple the actual value).

7.  You have experienced the daily decision faced by everyone in Asia:  rice or noodles.

6.  You have tasted the ancient "delicacy" (and Fear Factor challenge) of a slightly developed fertalized duck egg.

5.  You have discarded the five-second rule (eating food that has fallen on the ground and been there no longer than five seconds)  after learning of the charming Chinese cultureal habit of spitting on the ground (which they do frequently and with fervor).

4.  You have regressed to ramen noodles (or graduated from peanut butter and jelly).

3.  You spend one weekend a month and two weeks a year on "border runs" (normally consisting of long days of travelling to renew 30-day visas for our 32-day stays in each country).

2.  You are completely baffled by the continent-wide dedication (even in the face of modern science) to the porcelyn squattie (a hole in the floor).

1.  You have learned that the Thai people have discovered a beautiful truth.  We are all "same, same... but different."

It's 3:00. The afternoon sun softens the cold edges of this Chinese village, nestled comfortably in the foothills. We spent the morning serving hot chocolate and conversing with other world traveler's passing through. We spend most of our days helping our friends in their restaurant. But today my shift is over, and I'm making my way across town to our apartment.

The street is lined with storefronts. Some with baskets of fruit and vegetables and piles of dried green tea leaves. Some with tourist trinkets. Others with knock-off North Face coats, one of which I am currently wearing. Every block or so I pass a small restaurant with rickety tables and plates piled high with noodles. Children pass by en masse, like a parade. Classes must have let out at the primary school. Two young boys catch my eye from a block away. About seven years old. One is hanging on the other, one arm around his neck like they know they will be friends for years. They have ruddy cheeks and eyes overflowing with mischief. When they are within a few feet of me, one grins at me and exclaims excitedly, "Hello!" I greet them and can't help but smile. An elderly woman approaches me. Her face is wrapped in a scarf to protect her from the chill in the air, but her eyes are smiling. I grin and nod my head.

I take in the scene around me. Some things are new and different; others are strangely familiar. The men wear thick coats, and the arms of the coats are so long that they almost drag the ground. Their faces seem permanently flushed, and I wonder if it's from living in the mountains. The teenage boys wear their hair long, and they trip over each other to catch the girl's eye on the other side of the street. The girl giggles and whispers to her friend. I pass a monk, robed in red. He is humming quietly but still nods in my direction. He has kind eyes. Two blocks later I pass a group of three men, all wearing small white hats signifying that they hold to the Islamic faith.  They continue their conversation in mandarin.  No one speaks English in this town, and I have only managed to learn "hello" and "thank you" in Chinese.  Most of my communication with the locals consists of simple smiles and "ni hao"s.   Still, when I look into their eyes, I see their spirit.  I don't know their names.  I don't know any of their names...  but their faces stay with me long after we pass each other on the street.  Their faces come back to me in my prayers.  I bring them before our Father, faces He knows so well, for He created them.  Tomorrow I will do the same.  Every day, I am surrounded by a sea of beautiful faces.

So there's this guy named Seth Barnes, maybe you've heard of him.  Anyway, he talks about these "stages of initiation" that God takes us through on the journey to becoming fully alive.  Abandon. Dependence. Brokenness. Empowerment. Call. Confirmation.  I have an ongoing joke that as soon as I think I'm in "empowerment," I realize that I'm really in "brokenness,"  again...  I have also found myself many times throughout this year saying, Okay, so this is brokenness.  I understand brokenness now.  Then two weeks later I am more broken and realize that I haven't begun to understand the word.

I thought I knew about dependence too.  I wish I could tell you right now that I am feeling energized and empowered and ready to pour out in our last leg.  Actually, I am tired.  Not just a little tired.  I am very, very tired.  I'm not sure when or where or how it happened.  At some point, I think between the third week in Bangkok and a few days ago, I emptied myself of everything.  I poured it all out.  But somewhere along the line, I also got discouraged and didn't fill back up with the life-giving God. 

As we were looking back on the month in Cambodia, I realized that I hadn't been "pressing in" or going deep with others.  I was kind of floating by, trying to bless and love others, but with little passion.  Looking forward, I knew I didn't want to go on "autopilot" for the rest of the year.  This actually led to me becoming more discouraged, wanting to be at a place I just wasn't at.  I couldn't find the natural joy that usually just bubbles up from within my spirit, and I felt lost.  I felt too tired to climb may way out of the pit.

With the support and encouragement from many of my brothers and sisters on the race, I have begun to see the Light in my personal darkness.  I have remembered that I want to be truth-based and not feelings-based.  Huge lesson.  Even if we don't feel like God is near,  He is.  He is.  He hasn't gone anywhere.  Even if I feel lost, I know that God is holding me in his hands.  And he loves me, even (especially) in moments like these.  I have cried a lot.  Many tears for Bangkok.  Many tears of desperation to feel the presence of God.

But last night, at C/D squad's debrief, Telfer sang, Chad preached, and Erin prayed (powerful combination).  And I had a safe place to fall apart.  I heard one sentence from the Lord. Now you have to tap into my strength. And for the first time, I realized that God is in this.  God is in my dark night of the soul.  Immediately, I was reminded of the passage, one close to my heart (that I once discussed with a good friend by candlelight):

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.    2 Cor 12

"God bless the feet that go, the knees that pray, and the hands that give."

As we approach the home stretch, I can't help but think of what an amazing year it has been!

We have encouraged pastor's hearts in Mexico, prayer walked the streets of Nicaragua, held abandoned babies in Guatemala, seen the transformative power of "loving the one" in Costa Rica, spread the Gospel of Jesus in the mountains of Peru, and encouraged our brothers and sisters in Argentina.  AND THEN we fed the hungry and loved orphans in Mozambique, prayed for the sick in Swaziland, hung out with street kids in South Africa, befriended bar girls in Thailand, and invested in the youth of Cambodia.   Along the way, I was humbled and refined.  I have learned to live with and love my team - family.  I have been emptied, filled, broken, and empowered.  I have found myself more passionately in love with God than ever, and I have truly begun to come alive...  AND we're not done yet!

I pray that this year's journey has blessed you as much as it has transformed me.  With just about six weeks left on the Race, I want to sincerely thank all of you who have joined the journey through your support, encouragement, prayers, and donations.   I hope I can meet with you all in person and share my stories and my heart.

On the last leg of the Race, I am also asking for your help.  Through the generous contributions of my supporters, I have raised $11, 955 of the $13,550 cost of the Race.   If you are willing to support me with a financial donation, please click on "Support Me!" on the lefthand side of the screen or mail a check made out to "Adventures in Missions" with "Petitioned by Mallorie Miller" in the subject line.  AIM's address is 6000 Wellspring Trail, Gainesville, GA.    All donations made through Adventures in Missions are tax deductible.  If you have any questions, please feel free to email me at EverythingGlorious@gmail.com  Thank you!  Thank you! Thank you!  May God bless you all one-hundred-fold for your generocity of finances, prayers,  and encouragement.

History in the Making V: Ordinary Heroes 

Where is God?

Gary Haughn writes, For many of us, the ugliness of abuse and oppression in our world leads us, quite understandably to ask: Where is God in the midst of such suffering? … But over time,having seen the suffering of the innocent and the crushing of the weak all around the world… I find myself asking not, Where is God? But, Where are God's people?  ...Given all the power and resources that God has placed in the hands of humankind, I have yet to see any injustice of humankind that could not also be stopped by humankind…

The more I have come to know him, the harder it has become for me to ask such a God to explain where he has been. In fact, surprisingly, I don't generally hear the victims of abuse doubting the presence of God either. Much more often I hear them asking me, "Where have you been?"

And it's more than a fair question. The victims instinctinvely sense, I believe, that humankind could, if it chose to, use the power and capacities that God has granted to overwhelm the forces of darkness that oppress them.  And thus the pain of the victims' question, for they suspect that their suffering is of the cruelest kind - the kind that is unnecessary. The deepest hurt comes not from the injury itself, but from the knowledge that they are so despised by some who would will their suffering and so unloved by others as to be unmoved by their suffering. And it all need not be so. Indeed, there is nothing I am more passionately convinced of through all of these travels through the world of brutal injustice than the simple truth that it need not be so.

Abby's Heart

I talked to my friend Abby from Ohio this morning.  She spent the weekend at a conference aimed at raising awareness about human trafficking (and its existence within American borders).  At the conference, many women shared personal experiences of being a sex slave and being raped repeatedly with no apparent hope of escape.  Abby is devastated.  And angry.  And heartbroken.  Torn by feelings of powerlessness.  It reminds me of the waves of emotion I experienced in Bangkok.  She has chosen to open her heart to the pain of others.  She wants to hope for change.  In a voice of broken desperation, she asked me the question... So what can we do?     

...Paul Rusesenbagina, whose grusome life experiences were featured in the movie Hotel Rwanda, spoke at my university a few years ago.  He described the horrors of surviving a genocide.  At the end of his presentation, myself along with many of my friends were moved with a desire to do something, anything, to prevent such atrocities from ever happening again.  Someone asked, "So, what can we do?"

What can we do?

Isn't that the question?  Even when we confront the apathy and false powerlessness in our lives and devote ourselves to helping others, what can we do?  Paul Rusesenbagina didn't have a clear answer.  He encouraged awareness and political influence, but said in the end, "People have to decide to stop killing each other."  I do not have an answer either.  I haven't figured out how to not get overwhelmed.  I do know that we need more ordinary heroes.

Ordinary Heroes

I am not the first to coin this phrase.  I think Shane Claiborne uses it in Irresistible Revolution, his call to the hidden heroes to step up.   From their apperance on the public scene, I have always been inspired by the founders of Invisible Children.  Three ordinary guys took off to Sudan and ended up meeting runaway child soldiers and refugees in Uganda.  Now they have spread the word and thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of people are getting invovled.  They are building schools and investing in the otherwise forgotten Ugandan youth.  It started with a dream, a farfetched one at that, but it has become a world-changing movement.

These guys were no different than you and I...  There are no easy answers to global suffering and horrifying assaults on humankind.  But that does not excuse us from trying. 

Let's be the answer. 

Let's be history-makers. 

Let's be world-changers.

I don't know where your place is in the sea of need.  But I know you have a place. 

This is a continuation of a series entitled History in the Making.  Please see "my latest posts" on the lefthand side of the page for the previous blogs in the series.

I was thinking this morning, how "normal" life has become.  Then I look down at my Colgate toothpaste written in the Khmer writing and I remembered how abnormal my life is!  I woke up this morning in Cambodia!  After nine and a half months on the race, it's easy to forget how adventurous our daily lives are!  Here's a taste of life in Cambodia.

I wake up every morning around 8:00am.  I spend some time with the Lord and grab some fruitloops.  Around 9:30am, I ride my bike to the center for conversation class.

I have three students in my morning conversation class.  Cheata is fifteen and is very sweet-spirited.  She is studious, always memorizing the vocabulary definitions, but is timid when practicing her broken English.  She attends a Khmer school and takes classes at the center in her free time. 

Che is a friendly, talkative young man who speaks boldly but refuses to memorize vocabulary definitions.  He wants to be a tour guide (interestingly, many young men and women that can afford to go to the university study either tourism or accounting, as the majority of jobs  available here are in the tourism industry).  Because he wants to be a tour guide, Che can recite every major historical event in Cambodian history and is learning to speak Spanish as well as English. 

KongKea is a polite, kind young man.  He is my only student to consistently come to class on time, despite my best efforts to encourage promptness.  In conversation class, we are currently discussing cultures of the world.  The students enjoy talking about their country and learning about America and some other countries I have visited.

After conversation class, I run some errands before returning home for a family-style lunch.  Our team eats with Phonkie and Roselette, Steve, and Sokle (new YWAM staffers here).

After lunch, we have some free time.  We frequent a local cafe called Chaopraya that has great coffee and internet access.  We also may go into the old market or relax at the base.  Though Mary and Michelle have classes at 4:00, I do not return to the center until 5:00pm.  Then it is time for my favorite class - Up and Away English - with thirty-five 11-15-year-olds!

I love my class!  Though I normally resort to attempting to control chaos, they are awesome kids that really want to learn.  Best friends Solheang and Duui are up front with my monkeys Seon, Narith, and Mong in the back.  In class, we are learning numbers 1-20, vowels, "a" vs. "an," "he" vs. "she," and plural nouns.  Nest week, we will try "this," "that," "those," and "these" and learn some adjectives. 

Many of the kids catch on quickly and can complete the activities with ease.  These children have been coming to the center for several months.  My heart always goes out to the few that don't get it right away.  The look up to me and answer quietly "No, teacher..." which means they don't understand.  Little Chanda (standing in the back) is new to the center and has not yet learned much English.  I often have to go to her and explain things one-on-one, as well as I can in slow English.  She never misses class and is showing improvement.

This is our Wall of Fame.  Every Thursday is art day, and the kids (most of whom do not have crayons of their own) love coloring and drawing. 

At the end of the day, I pick some of the pictures to display on the wall.  I am a softie though, and will pick the pictures of the kids who are struggling in class to encourage them, even if they're not the best ones.

Though it is normally an insane time, 5-6pm is the best part of my day.  To be honest, some days I want to scream at them and have caught myself saying "You will learn how to do this!" Despite the frustrations, I get to enjoy and love on these kids, and maybe even teach them some English.

I finish up the day with a Microsoft PowerPoint class from 6-7pm.  After some attendance issues, we moved the time to the evening, and I now have four very eager young men who want to learn the program.  After class, we lock up and head back to the base.  We are greeted every evening by our Khmer family (from the Philippines).  We have enjoyed many differing combinations of rice, glass noodles, vegetables,and  chicken.  We always contribute by bringing sweet-chili sauce to the table (which we eath 95% of).   Some nights we invite Shira (5-year-old daughter) to watch a disney movie with us or Rosellete, Steve, and Soklee to play games.   Pictured here with "Uncle Eric" are Phonkie and Hiya's daughters Shevonne and Shira.  They also have a newborn baby boy.

I have enjoyed our time in Cambodia, though I sometimes miss the "ïnstant-fruit" of Africa.  (There are immediate rewards from feeding the starving and holding orphans). Here, we teach and encourage and love and pray and TRUST that by doing so, we are bringing the Kingdom of God.  As we wrap up our time in Cambodia, I know that we have served these kids by teaching and equipping them.  And I know that our Father has heard our prayers made on their behalf.  And I know we have encouraged our host family and brothers and sisters in Christ.  And I hope they all feel the immense love we have for them.  I am grateful for our time here,  for how the Lord has opened my eyes to the reality of recent global tragedies.  And how he has reminded me to trust Him.  And how He has grown our team closer together.  And how He has entrusted me with more of His children to love.  What a blessing!